After dead bodies start piling up, a family lawyer enlists the help of wrongfully accused street hustler to tail the killer, but what happens if the killer is hiding in plain sight.

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1 review

dogger · Legend · 87,095 pts

Strengths Named antagonist Cause & effect Filmable incident Real stakes

Needs work Active protagonist Clear goal Action, not decision Every detail earns its place

This has possibilities. But I find the logline somewhat confusing.

So, the lawyer knows who the killer is, but outsources the plot goal to the street hustler? Who is the protagonist, the lawyer or the hustler? I suggest this point needs clarification.

And what is the explicit objective goal? To tail the suspected killer to what end? Collect enough evidence to arrest and convict him? Or is the lawyer in vigilante mode, intends to impose "street justice" because he can't get it through the police or the courts? Or...?

Also, a logline should raise a dramatic question implicitly, not explicitly. That is, it plants a question in a reader's mind without actually stating it.