Still living with mother, a 45 year old psychotherapist that uses a dubious flogging therapy struggles to make his own life proposing to his client, a young and rich business woman.
Categories: Drama
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6 reviews
Okay, I did some googling.? It's legitimate therapy and a great idea for a story.
However, I personally find the therapist to be the? less interesting of the 2 principal characters.? He's weak, passive, at 45 still a "momma's boy".? He ?doesn' t seem to be trying that hard to find a woman. In contrast, she is proactive: ?she makes the effort to?seek him out for therapy.??? He doesn't find her -- she finds him.
She's also more highly motivated, willing to take the greater risk.? She's the one willing -- desperate -- ?to endure the pain of the therapy to cure whatever ails her.? In comparison, he doesn't seem willing to suffer anything.??(Being so passive, maybe he needs a strong dose of his own therapy.)
?I think it needs to be cast with a stronger protagonist with more desperate motivation, more urgent needs.
Have you considered making the woman the focus of the story, the main character? ?Of, if you want to have him as? main character, reverse roles:?cast her as ?the unmarried, middle-aged?therapist (who has given up on every finding true love and a husband.) Cast him as the client who seeks her out for flogging therapy to cure his depression
However you decide to cast it,? by all means,?up the stakes.? What's the worst thing that can happen to the client (male or female) if the therapy fails? ?He (or she) will commit suicide.? It's more than a matter of? finding the right marriage partner and having a family.? It's a matter of life and death.
Say something along the line of:
On the verge of suicide, a depressed middle-aged man ?seeks help from a female psychiatrist who treats clients with a unique form of?therapy: flogging.? (25 words)
Whatever, the hook of the story is not a middle-aged man still living with his mother, looking "to make his life"?with a wife and family.? Nor is?the hook a story about ?a rich business woman.??The hook of the story -- what's going to grab attention -- is the flogging.?
Flog the flogging!
As I said, I think you have a great idea for a story, but I suggest it needs refinement and refocusing.? Good luck.
Agreed with DPG.
Some great suggestions made above, I'd add that perhaps the stakes could be made even higher if the two characters would already be married.
What if they are both entrenched deep in married life? Mortgage, kids, white picket fence and all, yet both are depressed. An unfortunate reality for many people and possibly a sticking point for audience empathy, this could strike a cored with viewers around the world.
Sure make the main characters suicidal, but if they are family people then their actions will affect other characters in the story not just them selves and in doing so the stakes rise significantly.
When "normal" every day folk enjoy a good flogging and the subsequent sparks of passion, then the stakes will also rise for the audience as they see themselves in the story.
Okay, I did some googling.? It's legitimate therapy and a great idea for a story.
However, I personally find the therapist to be the? less interesting of the 2 principal characters.? He's weak, passive, at 45 still a "momma's boy".? He ?doesn' t seem to be trying that hard to find a woman. In contrast, she is proactive: ?she makes the effort to?seek him out for therapy.??? He doesn't find her -- she finds him.
She's also more highly motivated, willing to take the greater risk.? She's the one willing -- desperate -- ?to endure the pain of the therapy to cure whatever ails her.? In comparison, he doesn't seem willing to suffer anything.??(Being so passive, maybe he needs a strong dose of his own therapy.)
?I think it needs to be cast with a stronger protagonist with more desperate motivation, more urgent needs.
Have you considered making the woman the focus of the story, the main character? ?Of, if you want to have him as? main character, reverse roles:?cast her as ?the unmarried, middle-aged?therapist (who has given up on every finding true love and a husband.) Cast him as the client who seeks her out for flogging therapy to cure his depression
However you decide to cast it,? by all means,?up the stakes.? What's the worst thing that can happen to the client (male or female) if the therapy fails? ?He (or she) will commit suicide.? It's more than a matter of? finding the right marriage partner and having a family.? It's a matter of life and death.
Say something along the line of:
On the verge of suicide, a depressed middle-aged man ?seeks help from a female psychiatrist who treats clients with a unique form of?therapy: flogging.? (25 words)
Whatever, the hook of the story is not a middle-aged man still living with his mother, looking "to make his life"?with a wife and family.? Nor is?the hook a story about ?a rich business woman.??The hook of the story -- what's going to grab attention -- is the flogging.?
Flog the flogging!
As I said, I think you have a great idea for a story, but I suggest it needs refinement and refocusing.? Good luck.