Logliner
Posted: 2016-09-20T00:59:16+10:00 In:

A Gladiator Winner searches for his banished parents to re-take the throne from his own blood after learning he was left for dead

A Gladiator Winner searches for his banished parents to re-take the throne from his own blood after learning he was left for dead
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    2 Reviews

    1. Singularity

      And then what happens? ?The logline sets up a situation, an inciting incident for a plot, but does not indicate what the plot is. What becomes his objective goal as a result of the discovery?

      The story has echoes of the ancient Greek myth of Oedipus. ?You might want to study how Sophocles solved the problem of ?framing a plot for the myth in his tragic masterpiece “Oedipus the King”.

      fwiw

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    2. Singularity

      What DPG wrote.

      Also I’ll add that the key to a good logline is clarity – something sorely lacking in this instance. I don’t want?to sound mean, however the sentence structure and order of the descriptions are simply very?confusing, and require multiple reads to make sense of.

      Think of a logline as a guid to helping the reader?follow the bouncing ball of your narrative. It needs to be a simple description of a dramatic need, obstacle and goal.

      For example:
      A bad thing happens to a flawed character motivating him to take action to achieve a compelling goal. Now replace the words of this sentence with the events and SIMPLE descriptions of your story, but keep the order.

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