Samurai
Posted: 2017-01-26T19:47:57+10:00 In:

When an agoraphobic author meets his dream girl, a country star, he starts a therapy, but he must join her in public appearances or risks losing her to smarter guys.

When an agoraphobic author meets his dream girl, a country star, he starts a therapy, but he must join her in public appearances or risks losing her to smarter guys.
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    3 Reviews

    1. Samurai

      I’m never a fan of words that have to be looked up in a logline.? I’m sure some people would know what agoraphobic is but it’s risky.? I’m not sure about this sentence, “he starts a therapy”? What does this mean?? Why must he join her in public appearances?? Is he here therapist now?

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    2. Singularity

      So does she love him or not?

      If she loves him, why would he need to ‘fight’ for her?? Other men wouldn’t pose a threat if they are truly in love, but if only he loves her then that statement would make sense. If the love is one sided, then his, motivation to get over his agoraphobia is also warranted and fits in with a hero’s journey paradigm – he must overcome his flaw in order to achieve his outer goal.

      Also, while I agree with Erica about the need for clarity and user-friendly words, I think agoraphobia is a commonly enough understood a condition to use in a logline and doesn’t need to be changed.

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    3. Singularity

      Savinh0:

      Have you considered her falling for and pursuing him in spite of his disorder ? ?Maybe they connect on line. ?He takes the 1st step in initiating an online discussion. She’s dazzled by his wit and trenchant observations. She coaxes him into Skyping, then into meeting face to face, etc. ?He’ could still be the protagonist, btw, because, as I said, he would initiate the relationship by the 1st tentative on-line exchange.

      fwiw

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