When a gunman suffering PTSD takes a first year class hostage, two trainee teachers work together to calm both the terrorfied children and the crazed gunman.
BfehreLogliner
When a gunman suffering PTSD takes a first year class hostage, two trainee teachers work together to calm both the terrorfied children and the crazed gunman.
Share
Inciting Incident:
The inciting incident seems quite ambiguous. The logline begins by stating that two?teenagers have been taken hostage, but the rest of the logline?implies that more students have also been taken hostage. Is it a class, a group of students or the entire school who are at the mercy of the ( I’m guessing) gunmen?
Action:
The action is disproportionately passive given the circumstances and the genre. ‘Calming’ isn’t an action that lends itself to a thriller, I think. As a moviegoer, I’d either expect the protagonists would try to get the students out of the school discretely, or take out the gunmen, or both.
Goal:
Obviously the goal is to keep the students safe, but form my understanding it’s got to be stated in the logline.
Hope this helps.
I agree with Gabe that the dramatic action line is rather passive and reactive. ?And certainly incomplete.
Obviously, one of their 1st tasks would be to calm down the children and talk down the gunman, but surely that isn’t the action/conflict that constitutes the entirety of Act 2?
What does the gunman want– what is his objective goal in taking hostages? ?And as a result, what must the 2 teenagers do about it — what becomes their objective goal?