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Sci-Fi story is a difficult to explain in 25-35 words. This is my point of view on my logline:
PROTAGONIST- unruly space peacemaker ( He rather break the rules, then obey them, this is the reason why he was sent on earth - to calm down )
ANTAGONIST- greedy powers ( you cannot tell everything in 25-35 words, greedy powers is a well known secret organization which want to reduce human population to a Golden billion, that means other 6 billion is excess or surplus )
GOAL- stop planetary genocide ( my hero is well known as a character who "break all the rules" that means he will do it again although he was sent on earth to "calm down" - that means he will do everything- all dirty tricks, to stop the genocide )
STAKES- billions of people ( hero is on mission on earth, logically he met human woman and he fall in love with her and, logically she is in the 6 billion surplus earth population )
I am a writer from Serbia, sorry for my bad English!
Let me try to unpack your logline:
Event: Earth's government begins a planet-wide genocide. (Of whom? Who are they targeting? Lower socio-economic classes?)
Protagonist: An astronaut on shore-leave.
Goal: Stop the genocide. (What is the thing your protagonist will have to do that will signify to the audience he/she has triumphed or failed?)
Stakes: millions of people. (How is the lover tied into this genocidal plot? Why is she in danger?)
Antagonist: Unknown. (There is no face to the villains).
At first glance, your logline is very muddled, but I think SOME of the elements are there, and some need refinement. Let me try:
"When the wife of an impoverished ex-space-cop is sent to a death camp along with thousands of other "undesirables", he and a rag-tag group of freedom fighters infiltrate government headquarters to overthrow Earth's powerful new fascist dictator."
Obviously, I've just inserted a pretty generic objective goal, but you need to provide clarity in your revised logline of what the goal will actually be, along with a clear causal link between your protagonist, his goal, and the stakes.
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