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Try a more interesting protagonist.
A rookie mercenary entrusted by the gods with The Blades of Sin must accept his destiny to battle an old ally and the demons that threaten mankind.
Was this originally plot-generated? Kind of seems like one of those RPG plots.
As Valentin said. Please post back to the same logline to maintain the continuity of discussion. (Or, edit/revise your logline instead of posting a revised new one.)
You should post back to the original thread rather than create new one.
That makes it easier to follow changes, revisions and comments.
The changes have been cosmetic. We still don't know anything about the story.
Who is the protagonist?
What does he want to accomplish?
Who is trying to stop him?
Why is antagonist trying to stop him?
What is at stake if he fails?
When an old powerful sorcerer reawakens and threatens humanity, a naive novice soldier must go on a quest to retrieve the only weapon that can save his steampunk world.
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