When Jen?s niece accidentally sends them back to 1988 the one person who can help them is she man she swore never to see again. Her ex-husband
sueberger3Penpusher
When Jen?s niece accidentally sends them back to 1988 the one person who can help them is she man she swore never to see again. Her ex-husband
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You don’t need to say Jen’s niece, as an audience doesn’t mean anything to us. Why is her Ex the one who can help?
How is time travel possible? Magic? She build a time machine? As it kinds reads it feels a little back to the future what is unique about this idea you can convey in a logline?
The logline raises similar questions in my mind.? How is it possible for time travel to exist?? ?And what is the dramatic purpose of time travel? in a story labeled as a romance — not scifi or fantasy?
It seems contrived, a rabbit? pulled out of a? magic hat to set up the dramatic dilemma: the only person who can help her is the ex she swore to never see again.? But the same dilemma could easily and believably be set up without resorting to magic; to wit, years after divorcing her ex, she is the victim of a situation where she must break her vow, swallow her pride and ask him for help.
Time travel is such a popular scifi trope that any story that uses it has to have a fresh take, a unique twist.? What unique take, what fresh twist does this story have on time travel that hasn’t already been done?
fwiw
This sound like a fun story. Although for a romance logline, I feel it lacks relationship tension. I feel I need to know something move about Jen. What’s her flaw? What’s she got against her ex? What do they need to overcome to make them work together?
Also (I can here Karel in my ear and his warning about period pieces) setting the story in 1988 adds a whole level of complexity. Maybe re-think this. Could they just go back a few years, at the crucial time of her break-up?
Agreed with the others.
I’ll add that the premise appears to lack conflict – except her pride, what’s stopping her from getting help?
And even after she gets help, what or who is stopping them from sending her back to the future?
When a bossy middle age woman is accidentally send back in time on the day of her second marriage, she must seduce and inspire the young Genius slacker who will invent time travel: her future ex- husband.
I am adding the fact that she is getting married to introduce some time constraint. Also I made her a bossy women to create a bigger opposition with her slacker first husband.
I can see a great comedy based on that concept. it has multiple sources of conflict: age (unless she was much younger than him, she is now the older of the two), character (bossy women vs slacker player), time (she is aging in the past missing her life while he is living his life), era (she is used to today’s technology, …), …
I like the idea that because of the wedding, she has had a nose job, a different hair style, so the first husband did not recognise the women who inspired him. Because of him, he became a successful business man, but he ignored her need and they drifted apart. Now on the day of her remarriage he then recognise her and try to explain and accidentally sent her back in time. Hoping that on her return they can rekindle their love.