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I have removed the two other versions of the logline as it was probably your intention to post only one (as we do here).
Clear setting and inciting incident but not enough promise of a story.
"he isn't the only one leading a double life" reads like a teaser for the back of the DVD. It is not a logline giving us a proper idea of what to expect in this story. Read up on how we construct loglines here and post your new draft below in a reply to my comment.
I have removed the two other versions of the logline as it was probably your intention to post only one (as we do here).
Clear setting and inciting incident but not enough promise of a story.
"he isn't the only one leading a double life" reads like a teaser for the back of the DVD. It is not a logline giving us a proper idea of what to expect in this story. Read up on how we construct loglines here and post your new draft below in a reply to my comment.
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