mrmmr

Initiate · 75 points

25 points to Logliner

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on After falling in debt to a crime family, a cocky mechanic is forced to strip stolen cars for an auto-garage, but when his love interest is killed in a hit-and-run caused by the family’s erratic nephew, he turns the family against itself to seek vengeance and escape the debt.

The most interesting part of this logline is the protagonist's plan to seek vengeance by turning the family against itself. I absolutely love that. Because of this, get rid of the debt subplot - it's unnecessary and not as interesting.