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Initiate · 50 points

50 points to Logliner

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on When an exceptional London policeman discover a cult of murderers in a remote English village, he and his clumsy partner must bring them to justice.

Thanks FFF and Alan, I definitely agree with all of your points. With the inciting event I wanted to write that it was the involuntary relocation, but I was a little confused because to me there seemed to be two…
on Sent to infiltrate and subdue a tribe of alien natives in exchange for the use of his legs, a paraplegic marine questions his orders and must fight for the alien tribe’s survival in order to truly belong.

I really like this logline. It clearly describes the goal, the conflict and the protagonist. I haven't seen the movie yet, so I might be wrong but the "in order to truly belong" bit seems a little vague to me.
on “As a wealthy upper-class young man enters adulthood during the second US civil war, he is suddenly disowned and ousted from his family estate, causing him to experience the life of the impoverished in a military-industrial society, eventually joining the ranks on the front line to prove to his father he deserves his inheritance.”

Hello, I think this is a good logline, but I feel it's a bit too long and wordy.
on When an exceptional London policeman discover a cult of murderers in a remote English village, he and his clumsy partner must bring them to justice.

My homework from Karel was to pick a movie and write a logline for it. I wanted to write more but stuck to the 25 word limit. Feedback most welcome please.