RalphVito

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on To distance himself from overbearing parents, high school freshman Michael Colantino finds himself compelled to create thoughtful hip-hop music in a world that overwhelmed with flashy and uninspired artists. Michael’s friend Harry seeks help dealing with a dishonest truck driver.

Agreed, after some thought I'm losing the hip-hop angle and have came up with following logline for the series: "Freshmen at Chauncey Vocation High School Frank, Harry and Danny are a group of kindhearted degenerates learning to deal with life…
on To distance himself from overbearing parents, high school freshman Michael Colantino finds himself compelled to create thoughtful hip-hop music in a world that overwhelmed with flashy and uninspired artists. Michael’s friend Harry seeks help dealing with a dishonest truck driver.

Agreed, thanks for your input.
on To distance himself from overbearing parents, high school freshman Michael Colantino finds himself compelled to create thoughtful hip-hop music in a world that overwhelmed with flashy and uninspired artists. Michael’s friend Harry seeks help dealing with a dishonest truck driver.

Thanks for your response! I agree that it sounds much better split up. My original thought was that I wanted to create a feel for a series in the logline of the pilot, but I see now that is not…
on To distance himself from overbearing parents, high school freshman Michael Colantino finds himself compelled to create thoughtful hip-hop music in a world that overwhelmed with flashy and uninspired artists. Michael’s friend Harry seeks help dealing with a dishonest truck driver.

This is for a television pilot presentation, not a feature film.