RichGold1557

Initiate · 35 points

65 points to Logliner

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Reviews

on After a meek high-school junior is thrown out of her house by her authoritarian mother, she unwittingly gets drawn into drugs and human trafficking, and struggles at every turn to survive in this dangerous underworld.

Thanks for all of your comments, they illustrate the difficulty in creating loglines.
on 2 LIFELONG RIVALS OF OVER 50 YRS BECOME FRIENDS AFTER A NEW PERSON THREATENS THEIR NEIGHBORHOOD TURF

This logline, in my opinion, should start with the inciting incident, "After a new person threatens..." and "Two (not 2) lifelong rivals..." should follow.. "Become friends" is the close of the final act and should be omitted, instead telling what…