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When he finds out who killed his father, a laid-back youngster must return to save everyone from his evil Uncle and become the rightful king
Good! I Guess this is The Lion King. Maybe you should?write that the main character ?is a ?prince or that he need to save his family and loved ones from his evil uncle. /Julia
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When two personalities, a meek family man and a violent assassin, become aware they’re sharing the same mind and body, they work together to find the organisation that created them, but they’re both secretly planning to have the other erased to survive.
Sounds cool! What's the goal though? From this logline, I have no idea what the main character wants. Is it to get back to his family? Then write that in the logline. And what must he do to get back?…
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When a man is cut into two symmetrical halves completed with mechanical prosthesis, the two sides fight each other to become a full person again.
This sounds really interesting, he fights himself! I like it :) To make it more interesting, I would make one of the halfes the main character and the other one more of a antagonist. So maybe something like: "When a…
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Four thirty-something guys deal with different stages of fatherhood, whilst working out along the way that they have barely grown up themselves.
Hi! What you have written sounds like an intresting concept, but I don't get any idea of what's going to happen in the movie. What will I get to see except a bunch of guys walking around, thinking of life?…
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The most famous serial killer of the year has gotten very lonely. Wishing to have a friend who would accept him, joins a support group with very different and grotesque addicted people. One of those people is an overworked Agent who is part of a case to catch the most famous serial killer of the year.
I think the main character needs a clear end-goal. As it is now, the only goal presented in the logline is "to find a friend", but as far as I understand it, he finds that early on in the movie…
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An insecure prison doctor cooks up misfortune for inmates when she discovers a desire to care for burn victims.
This sounds like an intresting concept and you have a good main character, but to make it a better logline it needs three things: 1. An inciting incident: what happens that makes her discover that desire? Whats gets the story…
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“After years away, lonely Darren Ashcroft returns to his tiny home village to win back his childhood sweetheart only to be told she never existed.”
To me, it seems like the inciting incident should be that he is told that his childhood sweetheart never existed. So what happens after? And what is the main characters goal? What must he do to reach that goal? (maybe…
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A female bounty hunter who hallucinates slices of the future saves a man’s life in order to collect the bounty on his violent time-travelling future self.
As mentioned before it is confusing where the focus of the story lies. What is the inciting incident? Is it when she saves his life? In that case I would write somthing like: "When a female bounty hunter who can…
