Trix

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on Hounded by debt collectors, a brassy small-time hustler solves her money woes by becoming a debt collector herself.

Hi dpg, I've not seen the film, but your logline looks totally solid. ?Being devil's advocate, could you get rid of "Hounded by debt collectors" and replace "money woes" with something that sums the debt collectors up? ?Not that it…
on When a visiting dignitary is murdered, the naïve youngest prince of a fairy-tale kingdom becomes the Watson to a Holmes-like detective. But, when the detective is also killed, the prince must solve the mystery on his own before the situation escalates into all-out war.

Hi Todd, Sorry, I missed your MPR on my first read (not because it wasn't clear, just because I must have been only 1 coffee down that morning! LOL)... totally understandable for a longer logline with an MPR. ?Having said…
on When a visiting dignitary is murdered, the naïve youngest prince of a fairy-tale kingdom becomes the Watson to a Holmes-like detective. But, when the detective is also killed, the prince must solve the mystery on his own before the situation escalates into all-out war.

HI Todd, I like the unusual idea of a murder mystery being set in a fairy tale kingdom. ?Are you going to subvert the norms of 'fairy tale' or do you actually mean fantasy kingdom? ?My initial thoughts are: Watson…
on An emotionally-stunted, apathetic playboy learns to grieve his father’s death and appreciate life from a terminally ill woman, who loves life.

Hi DH, dpg is right, this needs some specifics for what we'll see on screen. ?I immediately saw the playboy having to return to his place of birth and sort his father's affairs and being totally sidelined by the woman…
on Disillusioned with Hollywood, a movie star returns to her Midwest hometown to attend her high school reunion – only to reignite old flames, rivalries and loves.

Hi DH,Ultimately I think you should write the film YOU want to. ? If that's an internal objective, so be it ? being told you can't do that is BS. ?I suppose what they are saying is that the logline…
on With the help of his undead lost love, a reluctant store manager must return to the island where she was slain to prevent the escape of a primitive evil before the anniversary of her death. ★ Accepted

Hi Odie, I like the idea - and that you have a hero fighting for a dead love. ?I think Nir is right, you need some more clarity between the elements in this logline, or, reading your response to guswakey,…
on A smart but directionless food delivery boy is mistakenly given the kiss of death from a psychotic gangster and must outwit the mob in order to survive and get his life back on track

Hi guswakey, I really like your premise - I can totally see it playing out for comedic value. ?I think Craig has pretty much knocked this on the head, and your second logline reads so much better. ? I'm thinking…
on A very old and dying president, A secret services chief and the commander chief of the military of a dictatorship gathered in secrecy to discuss the future of the country and the matters of power succesion. They will come to realize that schemes and plots are at play and they don’t share the same vision of how a governement should be

Hi AO31, It reads like you're still working through an idea here... there is a potential clash of objectives but as Richiev has asked, who are we following? ?Why? ?What for? ?It's hard to comment on it as it stands…
on After mythology’s most vicious monsters and history’s most heinous criminals escape from hell, a neurotic college-sophomore finds herself imbued with the power to send these evildoers back from whence they came. ★ Accepted

Hi JBalmer,I like your premise - this kind of thing is right up my street, definitely something I'd watch as a TV show or a film. ?My initial thoughts are:I feel like you have 2 inciting incidents? ?1) the evildoers…
on When a high-flying stockbroker with ADHD is charged with insider-trading, he battles to prove his sanity to a disbelieving Court and that the disease caused his lawlessness.

Hi Leon, I was intrigued by your logline, but I'll be honest, not as it stands with ADHD/sanity/disease teamed together. ?Here's what it made me think: Whilst ADHD isn't the first thing that springs to my mind for a high…