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A teenage girl learns she has the ability to visit the physical world in her dreams, and must work with other similar teens to protect this world.
If you can say it in one or two words, you should tell us what is threatening the world so we understand why it is so important for the lead to use her powers. "A schoolgirl with the newfound power to affect the real world while in her dreams, must team with other newly empowered teens to protect thRead more
If you can say it in one or two words, you should tell us what is threatening the world so we understand why it is so important for the lead to use her powers.
“A schoolgirl with the newfound power to affect the real world while in her dreams, must team with other newly empowered teens to protect the world…” (From Ghosts?) (From Zombies?) (From An evil maniac set on taking over the world?) Not sure what.
See lessA young corporate suffers a breakdown that links him to a traditional religion that destroyed his culture. He must overcome an internal conflict and re-discover his spiritual faith so that his identity isn’t diminished forever.
It's not clear what "breakdown that links him" means. Can you make things more specific, because I don't get what exactly is going on. "Internal conflict," "identity [is] diminished," etc are very vague terms.
It’s not clear what “breakdown that links him” means. Can you make things more specific, because I don’t get what exactly is going on. “Internal conflict,” “identity [is] diminished,” etc are very vague terms.
See lessA talented Fil-Am restaurateur returns to his country of birth where he is challenged by an unscrupulous boyhood friend, with a promise of co-ownership, to transform his failing Manila restaurant to number one on TripAdvisor.
The goal of a story doesn't always have to be about saving the world. But the goal should always 'mean the world' to the lead character. I like the elements in your logline but why does making his friend's restaurant number 1 on Trip Advisor 'mean the world' to the lead character? In your story, theRead more
The goal of a story doesn’t always have to be about saving the world.
But the goal should always ‘mean the world’ to the lead character.
I like the elements in your logline but why does making his friend’s restaurant number 1 on Trip Advisor ‘mean the world’ to the lead character?
In your story, the lead has a life back home. If he fails it doesn’t matter. As written in your logline and synopsis, there doesn’t seem to be any stakes.
Anyway, it’s a great concept it just seems to be missing a compelling reason for the lead to want to accomplish his goal. I believe adding that one element would improve an already good story.
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