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One lonely Filipino seafarer in a cruise ship finds comfort to his roommate who saves money for his wedding but he unexpectedly falls for him, and as they sail together his feelings grow deeper until he’s force to reveal it.
I can see a concept, but I can't see a logline with the needed elements. Discovering your own identity can be part of your characters dramatic need. But you want him to have some kind of visual goal as well in order to visualize the story. Preparing for a wedding is one point you make. What does thaRead more
I can see a concept, but I can’t see a logline with the needed elements.
See lessDiscovering your own identity can be part of your characters dramatic need. But you want him to have some kind of visual goal as well in order to visualize the story.
Preparing for a wedding is one point you make. What does that mean? Too vague.
The other point is attempting suicide. How does this reflect the direction of your story?
After his daughter who is a schoolteacher disappeared unexpectedly, a police officer has 3 hours to stop terrorists from blowing up the U.S. Capitol building.
The terrorists part sort of comes out of nowhere. 1: You start with his daughter disappearing, so you think that's what the story will be about. 2: Then you tell us the police officer committed a robbery. Okay, so that is what the story is about. 3: Then out of nowhere, you say he must stop some terRead more
The terrorists part sort of comes out of nowhere.
1: You start with his daughter disappearing, so you think that’s what the story will be about.
2: Then you tell us the police officer committed a robbery. Okay, so that is what the story is about.
3: Then out of nowhere, you say he must stop some terrorists.
So my logline suggestion would be, to explain how these three seemingly separate events relate to the ultimate goal of the lead character.
See lessThe world is about to be destroyed by none other than an ordinary human, and the only one who knows about it is an unwillingly chosen fish.
If this were my logline, I'd focus more on character 'Fish'. "unwillingly chosen" implies a character of meek traits - just as Nemo was also unwillingly chosen. Theme feels to be embracing an environmental message: "Man unwittingly destroying earth/sea". A quick sketch logline for Nemo may read: "WhRead more
If this were my logline, I’d focus more on character ‘Fish’. “unwillingly chosen” implies a character of meek traits – just as Nemo was also unwillingly chosen.
Theme feels to be embracing an environmental message: “Man unwittingly destroying earth/sea”.
A quick sketch logline for Nemo may read: “When [an overly cautious clown fish], [discovers this son has been captured by deep sea divers], he must [save his son, and escape the dangers of a dentist’s fish tank]
“Dentist’s fish tank” maybe replaced with “ordinary human destruction” …
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