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“A caregivers journal, with accounts of her experience, gets in the hand of a young person revealing many hidden secrets.”
I think you should check out the example page and have a look at the formula used by most loglines. At the moment this idea never really ends. Or it's just a person sitting in a room reading a journal. I don't really have much idea about what will take place in the film.
I think you should check out the example page and have a look at the formula used by most loglines. At the moment this idea never really ends. Or it’s just a person sitting in a room reading a journal. I don’t really have much idea about what will take place in the film.
See lessIn the quaint town of Ravens Circle, Nathaniel’s love for Julia intertwines with shadows from his past. As the ancient oak watches, their romance becomes a battleground, unraveling tragic secrets that echo through the town’s haunted history.
There is a lot of shadow in this logline. This is what I was able to glean: In a quaint hamlet with the darkest past, a troubled [young man] budding romance unravels when a malevolent force seeks another [victim of OR chapter to] the town's haunted history. I hope this helps. Have a great New Year –Read more
There is a lot of shadow in this logline. This is what I was able to glean:
In a quaint hamlet with the darkest past, a troubled [young man] budding romance unravels when a malevolent force seeks another [victim of OR chapter to] the town’s haunted history.
I hope this helps. Have a great New Year – take care.
See lessThe bass player for a famous band struggles to keep his friendship intact and meet the demands of the job as he slowly succumbs to addiction, he must find a way to help himself or risk losing his life and career.
I can visualize the story from the logline, which is a big plus. One critique, not a criticism. Since this is a short story, you should probably start the story from the moment of crisis. "After an overdose, an addicted Bass player, who's never performed straight, must swallow his pride, admit his pRead more
I can visualize the story from the logline, which is a big plus.
One critique, not a criticism. Since this is a short story, you should probably start the story from the moment of crisis.
“After an overdose, an addicted Bass player, who’s never performed straight, must swallow his pride, admit his problem, and allow his bandmates to help him overcome his drug problem, which is much easier said than done.”
Just a thought.
One more thing. In most stories of this nature. A reasonably decent person enters the world of entertainment, goes to a party, and is offered drugs. Then one time becomes two, and two times becomes every day, then they are addicted and their life spirals out of control.
However, what isn’t always discussed is that some people are just shy, or have a fear of performing in front of a crowd. So they take a shot before they go on, or a pill. Then as the crowds get bigger, so does the amount of drinking and drugs. It isn’t them getting caught up in the party scene, it is how they cope with their fear of performing in front of an audience.
I have seen the first story many times, sometimes it is about a model or an actor who arrives in the big city innocent and then slowly is corrupted by drugs and alcohol.
See lessBut you never really see the second story, where the person gets addicted because of extreme performance anxiety, and their fear is, if they stop the drugs, can they even perform sober?