Penpusher
Posted: 2013-06-23T14:47:40+10:00 In:

A disgraced former agent is forced to face his past when he is called into a covert operation to bring down a suspected terrorist – the Secretary of Defense

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    3 Reviews

    1. Singularity

      Richiev makes an interesting suggestion that the reason he takes on the mission is not just moral — it’s personal (“face the man who ruined his career”).

      It’s fine and noble for the agent to want to redeem his past, but it’s extra sauce and spice on the plot and character if the mission also entails getting revenge on some one who was the prime accomplice of the agent’s moral and/or professional ruin.

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    2. Singularity

      Dun Dun DHHHHH!!!

      Sorry, when I read the last line I could help but think of the musical cue.

      Overall I believe you are in the ballpark with this logline. Normally I don’t like loglines where character must “Face their past” or in some loglines “Face their fear” but in yours, you imply that his disgraced past may have something to do with his target, which works.

      At this point I would just do minor tweaking, not a major overhaul: Perhaps

      “A disgraced former agent is forced to face the man who ruined his career when he’s called into a covert operation to bring down a suspected terrorist ? the Secretary of Defense.”

      Hope that helped. Good luck with this!!!

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    3. I think this does everything you need it to really. Genuinely interesting – although noticing the tags my instincts would have thought more thriller than action. I immediately wanted to know everything about the character and more about the plot

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