The girl who’s name is a state
fighter200Penpusher
A guy named Max gets rejected by a girl named Alaska. Alaska has become notorious for dating multiple guys and being a bitch to everybody because she has a troubled past involving her parents abandoning in a shopping mall which some people believe is bogus and then Max goes into a downward spiral and starts having trouble with trusting people and having insecurities he never used to have.
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Hi Fighter200 here is a really good and short read that clearly explains how to structure a logline:
https://loglines.org/howto/
Hope this helps.
All stories have a start a middle and an end. So tell us how your characters move through that.
What does Max want? Why can’t he have it? What is he willing to do?
Max is desperate to (fill in) but he can’t (insert obstacle) so he must (action) to achieve is goal.
Here is Titanic for instance.
An socialist is desperate to escape her controlling fianc? and falls in love with a penny less artist on Titanic.
Tell us the story not the people. I am current rewriting (draft – call it what you like), the story is remaining but I am changing a character drastically as well as the period the events happen over. The logline will not change.
Hello, I like the title of the movie,
usually you don’t use names in the logline: be sure to read at least some miniguide about how to write loglines, this one for exemple: http://www.raindance.org/10-tips-for-writing-loglines/
Characters in stories are pro-active. They have a goal. In your logline the character has things happen to him. Also you filled the logline with way to much back story. Nothing wrong with back story but it shouldn’t be in the logline.
Also the girl (Alaska) sounds like a more interesting character than your lead.
“After being dumped, a formerly good natured student vows to go a year without love but complications arise when the Girl who broke his heart decides she wants him back.”
Hope that helped, good luck with this!