Blacks-only
Alan SmitheePenpusher
A young white Afrikaner fights for the liberation of his people in an alternate history of reversed Apartheid.
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“…the problem of racial discrimination needs to be hammered home, again? and again? and again, lest we forget.”
Agreed, therefore best to do justice to the notion of tolerance and tell a compelling and original story one which has commercial appeal to a larger audience rather than a generic dime in a dozen?
Perhaps not exactly original, but the problem of racial discrimination needs to be hammered home, again… and again… and again, lest we forget. The role reversal in this concept underscores an inconvenient truth about homo sapiens, that no one race, no one people are immune from discriminating against another, from oppressing and exploiting the “other”.
Whether there’s a commercial audience for the theme is something else.
An interesting play on racial devices how ever the concept does’t present an original idea at all.
Liberation stories of slavery on the basis of race have been told for thousands of years “Let my people go?”.
The interest from the role reversal gimmick will ware itself out after about 10 min of screen time i.e once the opening image is established.
What about this story will keep the audience interested from that point to the end? How will it be different from the myriad of other similar if not identical stories?
My point is best to mention the MC’s original and compelling inner as well as outer journey in this logline.
Hope this helps.
If you’re going to do an alternate, reversed history, go the whole 9.99 yards: set it in a Europe. African tribal-nation-states colonize and ruthlessly oppress the populations of European countries.
This is interesting, I wrote a script years ago about the first Caucasian basketball player to play in the NBA. In that reality whites came on slave ships from England and America was founded by Africans.
This sounds a bit more serious, my story was a comedy.
I disagree. During apartheid, black people weren’t seen as “dominating” white people, thus with this alternate history, white people won’t be seen as “dominating” black people – quite the opposite in fact (as Jandre states). Race is obviously a touchy subject, but we have to move forward and be open to “What if” scenarios such as this one without being too sensitive.
Anyway, the logline is good and the concept is interesting.
The logline is quite clear, but people don’t see the logline, they see what is on the screen and they would see a white man dominating over black people, history reversed or not.
Thanks for the feedback. I know it’s a controversial topic. As I am from South Africa I believe I can write it in a way that is liberating toward black people and eye-opening toward ongoing racial bigotry in South Africa.
Lucius, I think you didn’t get the logline, it’s quite the opposite. In this alternative historical setting, black people dominate over white people, reversed apartheid.
Will definitely try your angle FFF, will send and update later when I have more time 🙂 super helpful.
‘Finally, maybe you could give a clue about the fact that this is not a racist movie.’
Yeah, it’s only a movie where a white man is forced to dominate over black people…
So good luck with that.
Intersting. I love alternate history stories and they’re rare.
“alternate history of reversed Apartheid”- this shouds not very good to my ears because there are two words that works too much in the same way “alternate”/”reversed”, maybe you can find something better stylistically. Maybe you can start with a classic “in a world where…”?
Then, you can improve your logline being more specific about what kind of fight would be (pacific? violent?).
Finally, maybe you could give a clue about the fact that this is not a racist movie.