Surveillance Report
kbfilmworksSamurai
Espionage is the weapon of choice for husband-and-wife inventors of a new industrial process and a global corporation determined to bury technology that will save millions of lives.
Share
Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.
Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.
David versus Goliath in the smoke-and-mirrors world of corporate espionage.
Hi kbfilmworks,
This is a good premise for a possible very good thriller.
As a logline, it could be used for at least 5 or 6 movies I have already seen.
If you tell us a little more about your story, it will be easier to improve this.
As usual, the main usefull informations are:
– who is the hero = (husband, wife or the two?)
– what is his goal = provide a new technology that will save millions of lives
– who is his antagonist = (a global corporation, with or without one of the spouses?)
– what is his flaw = (what hinders him, that maybe the antagonist can use against him?)
– Where is the conflict =(the reason why the global corporation wants to bury this technology)
– What are his personal stakes = (what can lead him to give up, or otherwise to engage more)
Thanks.
One more thing please:
As whe are in the world of corporate espionage, maybe there is some spy among your main characters. Isn’t it?
In this case, maybe your plot turns around a triangular relationship hero-spy-antagonist. This is a good way to make a strong story … or get it all wrong.
I just read your precedent post and it is clearer in my mind.
Your first logline didn’t tell many things about your heroes but told more about your plot.
Would you like this ?
“Espionage is the weapon of choice, as well for the inventors of a technology that could save millions of lives as for the multinational corporation determined to bury it.”
Warning! It becomes a quadrangular relationship Heroes-spy-spy-Antagonist… Matter for a great suspense thriller but very-very difficult to master.
The only example I know is rather messed up: DUPLICITY by Tony Gilroy (Julia Roberts & Clive Owen).
Something better and close to the genre is RUNAWAY JURY by Gary Fleder (Gene Hackman, John Cusack, Dustin Hoffman…)
Thanks for your comments and suggestions, Jean. I’ll keep them in mind when revising my logline.
Talking about comparable titles, I’d say the story is closer to the Hitchcock spy thrillers – the ones that rely on suspense rather than action – like Notorious, etc. And talking about loglines, my understanding is that the logline of a thriller describes the plot. I think it’s important not to try and say too much in a logline and for me – I prefer to include a one-page synopsis with any logline I’m sending out. Also, I suspect loglines tend to work better for scripts that work with original concepts. So a project like say – Cowboys & Aliens is great for a logline but would an innovative non-linear movie like Pulp Fiction display its creative genius in a logline? Or would it just come across as a bunch of tired Film Noir clich?s?