Posted: 2013-09-13T03:59:46+10:00 In:

Upon discovering that a distress signal is a rouse to lure unsuspecting ships into a deadly trap, the crew of a fishing trawler must fight for their lives to escape a crazed clan of cannibalistic hermits.

The Cave

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    7 Reviews

    1. Singularity

      There is a major flaw in this logline; there is no such thing as ‘a clan of cannibalistic hermits’

      because of that the rest of the logline falls apart.

      I would change that part and the logline will improve drastically

      Hope that helped, good luck with this!

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    2. Penpusher

      A tribe might be more realistic than hermits

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    3. Interesting comments. How do we know there is no such thing as “a clan of cannibalistic hermits”? By their very nature hermits are private and hidden. This “Clan”–think Appalachian family type but in South America–would be inclusive and cut-off from the rest of the world except for their ability to radio a distress signal to lure in dinner.

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    4. Singularity

      We know there can’t be a clan of cannibalistic hermits because:

      1) A hermit is a loner, an individual who lives alone.
      2) A clan is a group of people who all live together,

      You can’t have a clan of hermits. (Cannibalistic or not) one thing negates the other.

      So a reader reading this will ask, how can there be a ‘clan’ of ‘hermits’ and it will take away from the overall logline.

      I would say something along the lines of “a reclusive clan of cannibals” and it will improve your logline greatly.

      Hope that helped, good luck with this!

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    5. Richiev, I like your suggestion of “a reclusive clan of cannibals.” Much better! Thank you.

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    6. awesome! just shorten to 25 words.

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    7. I think rouse should be ruse?

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