When a tough, beloved gay uncle of a large Maori family starts dressing in drag, he is met with opposition from his family, the town and a notorious Maori gang who everyone wants to get rid of.

Totally into the hook of your film. Almost like “Once Were Warriors” for a new generation.

Unfortunately your logline only tells us the concept. What is the inciting incident? (Presumably, the think that prompts the uncle to begin dressing in drag, or else reveals that he already does this to the world?)

Once the uncle starts dressing in drag (I assume the uncle is the protagonist) what is his goal? (Remember, we’re talking about writing films for cinema here, so it needs to be CINEMATIC … the goal is obviously to live ones life and be accepted for who we are … but what is the visual metaphor you’re employing in your film to represent this? What does this character need to DO so that your audience knows that they have either succeeded or failed in attaining this goal?)

Identifying the Maori gang as an antagonist for everyone in the town in the logline suggests that there’s already common ground that the uncle can stand on. You’d think you’d want to highlight the dramatic tension by putting him at odds with EVERYONE? So maybe don’t mention in the logline that he is facing antagonism from his family, but that they all have a common enemy who they will fight off?

Finally, the title is not super catchy. Maybe just Uncle Wahine? Tells me geography, it’s a bit of a pun (suggesting an offbeat tone, like something Taika Waititi might want to make) and it makes me, as someone not native to New Zealand, interested in what it means.