The Lizard (working title)
When a bullied kid finds a terrifying but badly wounded alien, he rallies his family and friends to help get it back to it's spaceship.
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E.T? 🙂
Yep. Needs a hook that distinguishes it from E.T., not resembles it.
Blake Snyder said “give me the same thing… only different”. Now you have to focus on the second part of the sentence. I’m sure that in your head you know that your movie is different and it can be a good movie but in the logline you have to struggle to include what makes your story original, special, and compelling, without losing the familiar setting and the tradition of the genre.
As mentioned above this story is the same as in E.T.
Regarding the logline itself it is well structured with clear elements that have a cause and effect relationship and elude at a subplot friendship between the boy and the alien.
How about E.T. with a kick:
“When an injured alien threatens to destroy the earth, a terrified teen convinces the creature to give him twenty-four hours to return him to his space ship, if he’ll spare the planet.”
Agree with all the comments above. Sounds too much like ET right now and needs a description that distinguishes from that movie.
Okay… I thought adding “terrifying” would differentiate that this wasn’t the lovable E.T. we all love.
So, here’s my reworking:
After being nursed back to health by a school boy, a wounded alien is forced to reassess it?s plans to invade the planet.