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AlexpsmithPenpusher
Posted: June 16, 20152015-06-16T08:46:36+10:00 2015-06-16T08:46:36+10:00In: Public

When a Governors daughter is kidnapped, a remorseful gang banger is recruited as part of an elite team to rescue her.

Big Fish Small Pond

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    2 Reviews

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    1. FFF Mentor
      2015-06-16T17:55:55+10:00Added an answer on June 16, 2015 at 5:55 pm

      Hello, I don’t want to be mean to you but- do you actually write this or you are testing a beta version of an automatic logline software? I give you a very good advice, before writing, you should read a lot of logline guides on the internet and maybe buy some books (I recommend Truby’s “anathomy of a story” who has a good chapter about loglines), because in reading your concepts it seems to me that you have to study the very basic of screenwriting- you can’t skip this step or you’l write 1000 logines without writing anything good. Hope this helps!

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    2. Lemmy Caution Penpusher
      2015-06-18T08:49:25+10:00Added an answer on June 18, 2015 at 8:49 am

      “A remorseful gang banger”? Do you mean rapist? I think you’ll find it difficult making your main character sympathetic. (BTW, check your apostrophes).

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