When a woman?s badly burnt body is discovered, an occult writer investigates a strange Christian sect. She must escape the cult and expose their evil.

>>You?re not really joining the dots

Tell me! And I shouldn’t have to join dots. The plot should be obvious, something I, or anyone else reading the logline should immediately grasp.

You describe the cult as “Christian” and then describe their practices as designed to appease “gods”. Say what? Those two terms are theologically incommensurate. It’s like saying kangaroos lay eggs.

>>I haven?t described her as a reporter.

Doh!

But my general point stands.

>>>the cult may be performing old pagan rituals e.g. Burning a virgin and scattering her ashes in the fields to appease the gods”

“gods” — then would it be “Christian”, which is monotheistic?

James Bond and Indiana Jones are exceptions to the general rule because they are franchise characters. Is this the logline for a film franchise?

Sgt. Howie is motivated by more than curiosity; it’s his job to solve the mystery, bring the guilty to justice. More to the point, he’s a devout Christian and celibate; the Celtic rituals and sexual mores of the locals deeply offend his morality and sensibility — that’s his subjective conflict. Is your reporter religious? IOW: what internal, subjective conflict is induced by her encounter with the cult?

I guess that’s the key point: the situation must not only create an external conflict but an internal one. And the internal one usually arises because of a character flaw. Why? What’s the purpose of the character flaw? What’s the point? Well, one point is having an (objective) internal conflict to complement an (subjective) external one that amplifies overall dramatic tension. It also enhances dramatic suspense; that is, it amplifies the fear in the audience’s mind that the protagonist may fail.

So what’s Ripley’s internal conflict? To begin with, she’s a fairly strong character. As the safety officer her prudent judgement calls are right while everyone is wrong. But she initially complies with bad orders, but then does she have much choice, she’s overruled by the captain? Finally, Ripley must take charge and muster every resource (internally and externally) to eventually go face-to-face with the alien. She’s the last chance for a character to succeed where everyone else has failed.

(Her character arc in stronger in the sequel: she must face down her nightmares, literally.)

So I guess the question to ask is: what internal conflict does the situation put the writer in?

One problem with this version is that there is no character arc. What is the reporter’s character flaw that is exposed and tested by the discovery of the burnt body? A good logline explicitly states the objective goal and implicitly suggests the subjective problem — the arc of transformation the character must undergo– by the designation of a character flaw. What is there about herself that she must confront and overcome?

A far more interesting story would be if she’s a member of the cult — a true believer — until she discovers the burnt body. Now her faith, her entire belief system, everything she was willing to live and die for is thrown into doubt. She must overcome her delusion and disillusionment and escape from the cult to save her sanity — and her life.

fwiw.