Dreamshare Inc.
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When her favorite dream-streamer stops sharing his dreams, a rigid executive must help him dream again to win the contract of her life before her nightmares destroy her temper.
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This is an interesting concept however, ‘must try everything…’ is very vague. You should tell us specifically she tries to do to get him to dream again or drop the line.
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“When her favorite dream-streamer stops uploading, a cold executive must help him dream again to stop her nightmares and save her equilibrium.”
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However, ‘save her equilibrium’ is not very compelling.
Does she have another goal? Does she have an important deal or client and may lose them if she doesn’t get a good nights sleep? Is her job is at stake and her whole world will come crashing down if she doesn’t get the dream streamer to stream again?
Because, that would be a bit more compelling
Hope that helped, good luck with this!
Everything Richiev said. The protagonist needs a clear cut, objective goal. And I am dubious that merely avoiding nightmares, recovering equilibrium makes the cut in terms of stakes big enough for an audience to care about, get emotionally invested in.
My other concern is that she fundamentally has the wrong goal. She wants to reconstitute a dependent relationship on the dreamstreamer when what she really needs to do is develop the strength to dare to dream her own dreams, to live her own dream (and waking) life independent of the dreamstreamer.
That said, it’s an interesting concept. But I think it would benefit from re-focusing.
I’m probably suffering from a lack of context because I’m not exactly sure what a dreamstreamer is (is it a sentient being?), but the male/female back and forth (her favorite/help him/if she) is throwing me off.
From the logline I am guessing a Dream-streamer is someone who dreams for you. You go to sleep and hook up to the ‘stream’ and dream their dream instead of yours.
but that is just a guess.
Richiev got it right: “a Dream-streamer is someone who dreams for you”.
Thanks for the feedback, I’ll try to rework the logline.
Ok, I edited the logline, is-it better? Do I still need to precise the context? (a future where dreams can be shared and hired). I personally think the context is implicit. This could be a movie in the kind of “Her” or “eternal sunshine”.
I found interesting the questions about who is the MC (the professional dreamer or the subscriber?). I think it’s better if the cold and self-assured executive try to motivate the dreamer: in doing this she motivate herself and the character can change. I can’t see the story form the point of view of the dreamer, who is certainly the second more important character – and there will be a love story at the end. At the end she won’t need a professional dreamer anymore because she has learned to dream for herself.
What do you think?
To re-iterate, I think the concept is promising And I like the fact that the protagonist is a woman (for a change). But…
If she really is self-assured, why would she need the dreamstreamer? Why would she suffer night mares and/or lack the self-assurance to confront them instead of resorting to anodyne substitutes?
Also the stated goal is framed in a negative mode: she wants to avoid — she’s running away from an unpleasant situation. I suggest her goal needs to be framed positively: she should be struggling toward something, not away from something. Either she should be struggling to find a positive alternative or to transform a losing situation into a winning one.
In terms of the actual plot, her initial reaction might be to struggle desperately to re-activate the dreamstream — but that’s the weakest choice. Eventually she must struggle toward a something better, a stronger choice– character growth — and that is what the logline should suggest.
“the stated goal is framed in a negative mode”. Sure, I tryed to correct this in a new redaction. And I change the adgective to avoid confusion about the mc (apparent) self-assurance.
How is-it?
(i think the structure is getting better but it sounds not really good)
Others mileage may vary, but I find the role of the dreamstreamer and his problem more interesting than hers.
Why has he stopped sharing? Because he can’t? Because he won’t?
How was it possible for him to share his dreams in the 1st place, upload them to others?
What made his dream life so special that others prefer them to their own?
In my mind, the dramatic questions and issues about the woman pale in comparison to the dramatic questions and issues about the dreamstreamer.
fwiw
“When a depressed dream-streamer quit dreaming, he must face his most dedicated dream-subscriber”. I don’t think it really works in this “Misery” way.
Or:
“When a depressed dream-streamer stop dreaming, he teams up with his most dedicated dream-subscriber to dream again before he get fired”.
I still prefere when it’s the story of the subscriber: I found it more ironic: the story of a rigid person that can’t face her own dreams/nightmares must help a depressed professional dreamer to dream again.
anyway, I think there’s something interesting about hired dreamers, dreams for rent, dream subscribers, etc. I think what’s interesting is that dreams are like commodity in this film.
I could see the story focusing on the client in a story world where dreamstreaming is a commodity, a service with competing brands of dreams, advertising slogans, celebrity endorsements, ‘star’ dreamstreamers — the whole 9 yards+ of capitalist commercialism. It’s even regulated by a government agency.
And, of course, there’s a black market. And maybe she’s addicted to an unregulated, black market dreamstream. So when that source dries up, stops streaming dreams, she, like any addict for any psychotropic drub, panics, goes through withdrawal symptoms, becomes desperate to jack back into the dreamstream she is addicted to.
It’s a concept ripe with dramatic possibilities.