The Perfect Plan
When secrets threaten to surface and trust is about to shatter; a husband and wife independently devise their own plan to kill the other before their pasts are revealed.
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Although not a traditional logine I do like it.
However, one note. I would drop the word ‘Independently’ from the logline since ‘independently’ and ‘their own’ mean the same thing, also ‘plans’ imply two plans not one so you could even drop ‘their own’ as well.
You could then drop, ‘Trust is about to shatter’ and it would still retain it’s meaning.
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“When secrets threaten to surface, a husband and wife devise plans to kill each other before their pasts are revealed.”
This is great help thank you. I like how you have stripped it and still kept the same meaning.
+1 Richiev.
Could you maybe add a descriptor to your ‘husband and wife’ to offer a touch more info about their relationship?
Like ‘A clashing, or duelling husband and wife’?
Maybe it’s implicit already? Just a suggestion.
A general question: is it wise to put effort into developing a logline for an unresearched and undeveloped idea? I’m just saying – and this is a wild guess – but I think I’m seeing loglines that I suspect are basically undeveloped ideas – meaning – are writers sure the story behind the logline has a third act? Or even a second act? Plus, can you actually write it?
“…is it wise to put effort into developing a logline for an unresearched and undeveloped idea?…” IMO — Hell yeah. In fact, it’s half the point. In doing so you discover if the idea is actually worth pursuing or not, it can point you in the best direction, and an ‘undeveloped/ unresearched’ idea starts to develop.
The other half of the point is to develop it post completed screenplay (for hocking purposes…) — which can sometimes mean fitting a square peg into a round hole… in my (limited) experience starting out developing the logline before committing to a draft saves potentially months of work, handfuls of hair, and a dozen or so visits to a psychiatrist/ relationship counselor. Of course, you’re not married to the logline once into the draft — it just gives you a clear direction in which to head.
“…are writers sure the story behind the logline has a third act? Or even a second act?” — A good logline will give you the set-up of the world, hero and predicament (Act 1.) with an Inciting Incident (into Act 2) and should allude to the consequences and main challenge (Act 3) — of course, it should not reveal the conclusion — but the writer should certainly know how it ends.
“…can you actually write it?” — If the logline is solid you’ve got a clear statement on which you can base everything, from supporting plot points, character traits, reasons behind those character traits, other characters that will support the premise in your logine — in a nut shell — it can provide you with the direction to everything — of course — this is all just from my limited experience and research of other writers.
I would agree with Tony. I think a log line can kickstart the whole creative process. You may think of an idea and devise a log line to remind yourself of it as you begin development. In the case of my log line above I do know all the twists and turns of the film but the second act isn’t completely fleshed out and I haven’t really began development. It is an idea I have swimming around and had a go at a logline when I saw a competition for logline of undeveloped screenplays.
Perhaps you think the logline is vague? The story doesn’t work?
The logline highlights what the story is but there are many twists and turns that I wouldn’t want to give away in a logline.
Good points, Tony & Kriss. But I’m not entirely convinced. Hey – that’s just me.
Kriss, judging from your logline your story could be -for instance – a family drama or a crime thriller or even Neo-noir.
Yes, good points by all.
I’ve come to realize that for my style of writing, it’s useful to write, re-write and re-re-write the logline at every stage of the creative process. It helps me to discover what the story is really about and when I finally figure that out, keep it in sharp focus.
And primes me for my 15 second pitch to Steven Speilberg when we chance to meet in an elevator. (Well, I can dream, can’t I?)
Thank you all for the feedback. I’ve taken it all on board and will have a think about which way to go.