Logliner
Posted: 2015-03-09T21:21:51+10:00 In:

When the troubled son of a wealthy business CEO falls into heavy heroin abuse, he is taken care of J05HU4, an A.I. who is to help his son come off his heroin addiction only to relate to him during his withdrawals that evolves J05HU4 in the process.

J05HU4

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    5 Reviews

    1. Penpusher

      What you’re trying to say hear is unclear. Try again.

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    2. Singularity

      The first part of the logline sounds like the start of an interesting redemption story but when the AI is mentioned the sudden change of genre confuses the premise.

      The MC is the son his goal is to kick the habit but what is the inciting incident? What twist could you introduce in the mid act 2 turning point or act 3?

      I ask because just quitting drugs as a goal has been done and the story could benefit from an unexpected change, another layer or sub plot.

      Hope this helps.

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    3. A confusing logline – perhaps due to some grammar used. Your current logline, the word ‘evolves’ should be ‘involves’??
      I see the MC as the father?? He tries to help his son (without personal involvement…too busy etc) and that is the backfire?
      A wealthy CEO purchases the A.I unit J05HU4 to help his heroin addicted son but learns too late that A.I can be manipulated even more effectively than a Father.

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    4. Mentor

      Me too I don’t get it. I would say : “An introvert software engeneer delegates the A.I. he’s working on to deal with his son’s drug abuse, only to find his son needs a father more that a software.” Is that more or less what you mean ?

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    5. Penpusher

      So I see the MC as the Son so why not. “The wealthy heir” or ” A rich heroin addict must kick his habit with the help of Jo5hu4…. I suppose the Inciting incident must be where he crosses the line from just destroying his life to almost/destroying someone else’s. because it sounds like he has been an addict before we meet him. That also makes for a hard character to like.

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