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Cameron Pattison
Posted: August 26, 20132013-08-26T17:14:53+10:00 2013-08-26T17:14:53+10:00In: Public

William Van Alen?s building of the Chrysler building and the competition to be the first to complete the world?s tallest building.

THE LIGHTHOUSE

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    5 Reviews

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    1. Nicholas Andrew Halls Samurai
      2013-08-27T11:45:37+10:00Added an answer on August 27, 2013 at 11:45 am

      I think you’re spot on in that there is a story here – it’s well known enough to have audience appeal, but it hasn’t really been tackled yet. Still – dpg is totally right. This logline has put the premise into a logline, and as such it’s kind of hard to understand how its story dynamics are going to work.

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    2. Richiev Singularity
      2013-08-27T09:14:44+10:00Added an answer on August 27, 2013 at 9:14 am

      You should add who he’s racing against to build the worlds tallest building, otherwise the logline doesn’t make sense, there have been other worlds tallest buildings, such as the empire state building.

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    3. SLClibra
      2013-08-27T06:00:31+10:00Added an answer on August 27, 2013 at 6:00 am

      What seperates this from a documentary? As wilsondownunder mentioned, you need a human element in there to make us care about this story.

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    4. dpg Singularity
      2013-08-26T22:17:12+10:00Added an answer on August 26, 2013 at 10:17 pm

      A statement of a premise but not a logline.

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    5. wilsondownunder Penpusher
      2013-08-26T19:56:07+10:00Added an answer on August 26, 2013 at 7:56 pm

      Hi,

      It might be worth researching Williams character traits and any potential flaws he had and incorporating this into your longline. While most people know what the Chrysler building is and it’s significance, you still want the story to sound compelling, rather than a recount of history.

      Something along the lines of:

      An obsessive architect destroys all that is good in his life as he becomes consumed by his desire to build the Worlds tallest building – the Chrysler.

      Not ideal but focussing it on the character rather than the story adds an element of interest – as we already know the story.

      PS I have no idea if he destroyed his life in the process.

      I hope this helps

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