by CraigDGriffiths · Legend · 12,600 pts
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Categories: Action
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Here is a look at the second logline example you wrote:
2. "A young Sherlock Holmes and Moriarty plan to undermine England's holdings in the east to profit from deals in Russia, while Mycroft Holmes is tasked by MI5 find who is responsible, not knowing their involvement."
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I like this version and would only make a small change or two
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"Master criminal Sherlock Homes and sidekick Moriarty plan to get rich by undermining England's holdings in the east, but must outwit his genius brother, Mycroft who has been appointed by MI5 to monitor the region."
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?Master criminal Sherlock Homes and sidekick Moriarty plan to get rich by undermining England's holdings in the east, but must outwit mother's favorite and oh-so-genius brother, Mycroft who has been appointed by MI5 to monitor the region.?
Thanks Richiev here are three version
1. When Mycroft Holmes is appointed by MI5 to investigate a plan to undermine England, Sherlock ?and his best friend Moriarty must deter his investigation all while sabotaging England's plans for Afghanistan
or
2. A young Sherlock Holmes and Moriarty plan to undermine England's holdings in the east to profit from deals in Russia, while Mycroft Holmes is tasked by MI5 find who is responsible, not knowing their involvement.
or
3. Sherlock Holmes competitive and resentful of his brother Mycroft sets out with James Moriarty to undermine England's holding in Afghanistan when Mycroft is appointed by to MI5 to monitor the region.
I am leaning towards 3 as it brings in motivation, which leads to tone.
