A detective fiction writer becomes convinced her lover’s death wasn’t a suicide and must prove his brilliant wife is a killer before becoming the next victim.

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Title: The Mistress

5 reviews

Richiev · Singularity · 58,825 pts

This is better because in the original logline I couldn't tell if it was a detective who wrote fiction novels or a fiction writer who wrote detective novels.

Odie · Mentor · 6,290 pts

Added a new layer of paranoia to keep me on my toes.
“A paranoid noir author convinced her lover’s death was not a suicide sets out to find the killer before she becomes the next victim“

Take care.

Mike Pedley · Overlord · 13,410 pts

There is definitely something to this idea but the logline is a little confusing. It took me a while to figure out just who everyone was. I think it needs to made more clear that her lover is a married man. I was wondering whether this story might be more interesting if the protagonist herself is married, and she's living with the person she believes might have killed her lover... but she can't let on otherwise she's admitting infidelity. I really like the two female leads battling it out so maybe she's a married lesbian and she has an affair with a man who ends up dead?

This has legs for sure! I think it's just about clarity at the moment. "Crime fiction writer" is much clearer, and I agree with sloanpeterson (SAVE FERRIS) that "brilliant" is possibly not the right choice but it's heading in the right direction. The idea of watching a thriller like this, mostly contained within one house, like a tense noir... yeah!! I do really want them to live with each other 24/7 though... but that might not be the story you want to tell.

For research check out Fincher's Gone Girl and Les Diaboliques. The latter is an amazing film which is PERFECT for what you're trying to write.

Hope this helps.