A Facebook friend request, changes the life of a man undergoing mid life crisis, as he discovers, his former best friend, is a hitman.
Categories: Comedy
Categories: Comedy
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY COMMAS?
Seriously just write it as a single sentence with no commas and see how much better it sounds. A good logline shouldn't have any pauses anyway, but this isn't even good English...
Why do I immediately think of that Adam Sandler/David Spade Netflix movie when I read this? Anyway yeah the logline is missing a good hook and the goal of the protagonist as been said by the others.
"But the inciting incident is the Facebook request. It is this request that will change the rest of the remaining life of the protagonist."
Okay. The logline fails to describe it as an inciting incident which?forces the protagonist to pursue his goal.
The logline brings up the question of why a hit man would have that information on his Facebook page. The logline also describes no goal.
I like Richiev's suggestion.
What is the main conflict of the story?