A group of thieves rob a police station in hope of retrieving sensitive evidence that could potentially end their criminal careers for good.
Categories: Heist
5 reviews
A group of thieves: this is kind of vague, is there a specific thief with a specific personality.
Rob a police station: Now this is good. It is specific and has a certain amount of built-in conflict because we know it won't be easy.
Sensitive evidence?: What evidence? a surveillance video? A notebook with the plans for their next robbery? A photo of them walking out of the Thieves-are-us store?
Also, how did the police get this information, what is the inciting incident? Did one of their crew get arrested? How does this story begin? Your logline seems to be missing this important story point.
Anyway, I think with a few specifics this will be a pretty solid logline and the story seem interesting as well.
Good luck with this.
My thought is rather than "ending their criminal careers" that's not a big enough threat.? It's rather benign,? Punch it up with the real stakes.? What's the crime?? Murder?? Than the real risk is life behind bars or the needle.? There's your stakes.? Protagonist, Antagonist, goal.
My thought is rather than "ending their criminal careers" that's not a big enough threat.? It's rather benign,? Punch it up with the real stakes.? What's the crime?? Murder?? Than the real risk is life behind bars or the needle.? There's your stakes.? Protagonist, Antagonist, goal.