In a last-ditch effort to get rid of her eye sore car, a paranoid business woman risks being mugged in a particularly shady part of town by an unknown and potentially dangerous buyer.

It's a plan, not a plot. Might start with: 'when she is mugged while selling her eyesore car in a shady part of town and left without money or identity, a paranoid businesswoman must reshape her whole life and find out who her real friends are.

The logline is still hiding the game ball in terms of the specific risk she will incur that will be played out for the duration of the short. Rape, robbery, or...?

To clarify what I mean and mangle metaphors: A good logline is like a fish hook baited with something specific that makes it irresistible for a mind to bite, makes someone want to read the script.

This logline sets up the expectation that something bad will happen to her. And the expectation that the "something bad" will be the central conflict of the film, to wit, the plot, what she must do when the risk becomes a reality. But the logline doesn't gives me a clue as to what, among the multitude of dangers she could face, the specific danger she will actually face.

This logline tosses out a hook bare of bait. Give me something to bite on. Please. I'm hungry, I have the urge, the need to bite. And so do producers, directors and actors. But where's the bait?

The logline is still hiding the game ball in terms of the specific risk she will incur that will be played out for the duration of the short. Rape, robbery, or...?

To clarify what I mean and mangle metaphors: A good logline is like a fish hook baited with something specific that makes it irresistible for a mind to bite, makes someone want to read the script.

This logline sets up the expectation that something bad will happen to her. And the expectation that the "something bad" will be the central conflict of the film, to wit, the plot, what she must do when the risk becomes a reality. But the logline doesn't gives me a clue as to what, among the multitude of dangers she could face, the specific danger she will actually face.

This logline tosses out a hook bare of bait. Give me something to bite on. Please. I'm hungry, I have the urge, the need to bite. And so do producers, directors and actors. But where's the bait?