A mother’s confession tells a young man that he has an older brother, but this older brother is in a gang; the young man must find a way into his brother’s heart while breaking the hold the gang has over the older brother.

>>the young man must find a way into his brother's heart while breaking the hold the gang has over the older brother.

Why MUST he find his brother? And after he finds him, WHY does he take it upon himself to rescue his brother?

>>the young man must find a way into his brother's heart while breaking the hold the gang has over the older brother.

Why MUST he find his brother? And after he finds him, WHY does he take it upon himself to rescue his brother?

Nice rewrite. It exposes more about motivation ("...or lose his brother's love forever"). However, it sounds a little naive - the younger brother knows nothing about the older one. The older brother may know about the younger, but I can't see any strong relationship between them. Therefore, this story may be more about looking for answers (Who is my brother? Why he left us? Why didn't mother tell me about it earlier?) rather than losing loved ones.