A retired astronaut must overcome an emotional disability to save seven world leaders trapped inside of a crippled space station before it crashes to Earth.

All great advice and points taken with validity. I wrote this with family as the main component that drives the will to survive. I simply put people in harms way and force them to deal with more crap after even more crap.

Currently, it is battling in the page awards semi-final round.

Logline wise, I never felt good about my choices or any newer versions. It is currently using:

A retired astronaut must overcome an emotional impairment to help save seven world leaders trapped on a crippled space station before it crashes to Earth.

Foxtrot25:

A fundamental challenge of this premise, as in genres that set up alternate worlds and narratives to the world we know ?(scifi and fantasy are two of the common ones) is that it requires laying out a lot of backstory for the logline to make sense. ?Which contradicts the principle that every logline should be able to stand on its own, independent of any ?knowledge of the backstory.

Frankly, I find aspects of the backstory more interesting, or at least potentially so, than the premise. ?For instance, why does the peace conference have to take place on the moon? ?Well, what if it's where the lucky few elitists fled to after the earth became inhospitable because of the nuclear war? ?Now they are negotiating the terms to divide up and recolonized the earth.

Anyway, what's the personal hook for you in your story? ?What is there about the story that you find so interesting, so compelling that you MUST tell it? ?What's the itch you gotta scratch in this story? ?What is the theme you wish to explore?

Foxtrot25:

A fundamental challenge of this premise, as in genres that set up alternate worlds and narratives to the world we know ?(scifi and fantasy are two of the common ones) is that it requires laying out a lot of backstory for the logline to make sense. ?Which contradicts the principle that every logline should be able to stand on its own, independent of any ?knowledge of the backstory.

Frankly, I find aspects of the backstory more interesting, or at least potentially so, than the premise. ?For instance, why does the peace conference have to take place on the moon? ?Well, what if it's where the lucky few elitists fled to after the earth became inhospitable because of the nuclear war? ?Now they are negotiating the terms to divide up and recolonized the earth.

Anyway, what's the personal hook for you in your story? ?What is there about the story that you find so interesting, so compelling that you MUST tell it? ?What's the itch you gotta scratch in this story? ?What is the theme you wish to explore?