When her agent drops her, a shy “love story” author attends a horror movie workshop where screenwriters are kept prisoner by a perverse guru who makes them die like their characters, so that only the best writer will survive.

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The Script

30 reviews

Jean-Marie Mazaleyrat · Logliner · 475 pts

When dropped by her agent, a shy ?love story? author attends a horror movie workshop where a perverse guru makes screenwriters die like their characters?until only the best one survive.

This?seems to be ?close to Cube,?etc.

Former member · Legend · 114,968 pts

And again, it seems to be a story of a random act of heartless sadism. What is the guru's motivation for subjecting the writer's to such torture? And again, I point to "Saw" where Jigsaw's choice of victims and torture is more than a random act of heartless sadism.

dogger · Legend · 87,055 pts

And again, it seems to be a story of a random act of heartless sadism. What is the guru's motivation for subjecting the writer's to such torture? And again, I point to "Saw" where Jigsaw's choice of victims and torture is more than a random act of heartless sadism.

FFF · Mentor · 8,245 pts

Hello, I certainly have a problem in explaining my idea.

I try!

guru's rules:
-you are my prisoners, there is no way to escape.
-you must write a scene where another guest dies. For exemple Mister white write a scene where Mister Brown (one o the writers) is drawned in the bathtub. Mister Brown write a scene where Mister White dies because all the chess pieces are inserted in his ass one by one.
-at the end of the day the guru read the scenes and choose the better one.
-Mister White is forced to have all the chess pieces up his ass until he dies.
-The writer who is alive at the end will be free to leave. To stay alive they must write the most original scenes.

When they are actually killed, they all 'play' their role better than any actor because it's real!

When the guru reads a scene, sometimes we "saw" the scene, so all the characters can virtually be killed many times.

Tony Edward · Mentor · 4,315 pts

'...then the guru kills the writer that stars in the best scripted scene...'

So the scenes have to be performed by all the writers -- certainly they've heard of improv? As in, isn't in an actors hands whether or not a scene is good or not? And what would constitute a 'good' scene?

It's got plausibility issues, but if it branched into whacky comedy cum horror it could be gold.

Best of luck.

FFF · Mentor · 8,245 pts

I'll try a different angle to face or avoid all problems.

FFF · Mentor · 8,245 pts

Sure, I understand what you mean. In reading a synospis of chuck palaniuk's novel I see some similarities and I see that he did it really good and surely better than what I can do- I'm still proud to have had some small ideas that palaniuk had :) of course I must differenciate from his work because now that I know it (thanks to your comment) I don't want to do the same. I think that there is still some place in this zone of survival plot with writers as characters.

I just want to point out that even in a 10 lines synopsis we don't know why the host kidnapped them, and we ignore what motivates the writers to join the workshop. Probably in the novel all this is clear but does-it belongs to a one sentence logline?

I'm gonna buy the novel immedialtely because this is just the kind of story that I love. And thanks again for your comment! And they're doing a movie from the book.

Neer Shelter · Legend · 39,985 pts

Logline structure and plot aside I think there are some fundamental problems with the concept.

1 - plausibility; to actually be able to threaten, torture and ultimately kill someone or a group of people the scenario needs to enable the mechanism that allows the bad guy to do this. As such you've added in the most recent drafts a generic description of the characters are being kept as prisoners. This is the same as in so many other movies that have a similar premise and as a result doesn't sound interesting. What is unique about their entrapment?
Just a quick thought; If you don't want to involve any super natural themes, could they have a movie contract at the end as in the surviving writer is guaranteed to sell their script? The antagonist can then use their career aspirations and greed against them.

2 - motivation; the antagonist seams ruthless for almost no reason, normally an antagonist's motivation can be omitted from loglines, but as the genre in this instance requires it, his motivations needs to be crystal clear, compelling and unique. It's his motivation that will determine how bad an antagonist he will be and therefor how interesting the characters fight to survive will be.

If these fundamental problems can be solved after several iterations of the logline then this could make for an interesting concept if not and after many re drafts the logline is still not working maybe it won't make for a good concept.

I don't want to sound mean or inappropriate just trying to be helpful in my (all to well known) direct way.

Clint Cure · Wordsmith · 695 pts

Also, if you need some reality to ground your premise in, Kim Jong-Il kidnapped a couple of South Korean movie names and forced them to make a pro-North Godzilla movie. Maybe your the guru is just a 'mis-understood' genius who aims to make the greatest horror movie ever.