A suicidal mercenary sets out to rescue the girl he was hired to protect, the girl who gave him a reason to live, after she’s kidnapped for ransom.

No argument there. Normally the flaw or issue implies or touches on the theme or arc and here I figured it's the opposite by specifying redemption. If I were working on this idea, there would be a couple of more logline attempts.

Robb Ross:

I agree that redemption is the theme in this movie.? The theme is planted in the 6th minute of the film when? the main character, John? Creasy, a troubled man, troubled about his past, asks "Do you think God will ever forgive us for what we've done?"

That said, loglines are about objective goals, not subjective needs.? Objective goals are a concrete problem a character intentionally struggles to solve.? Solutions to subjective needs are never intentionally sought.? In Act 1, the protagonist still has all his defense mechanisms up; he? cannot admit he has a subjective problem,? Or if he (reluctantly) admits he does, he's discounts its gravity and at best is only coping with the problem, not solving it.

Solutions to subjective issues are unintentionally arrived at in the course of working out the objective problem.? As events play out, the ultimate solution to Creasy's subjective problem, the answer to the thematic question raised in the 6th minute, is to sacrifice his life to save hers.? That is not a solution he would have accepted? in Act 1.? (Because he had not become emotionally bonded to the girl.)? Nor, I think,? immediately after the midpoint.? He knows his life is at risk, but he intends to save her if he can, wreak revenge no matter what.? And stay alive.

So in a logline the subjective need and the implied character arc is stated in terms of a character flaw.? In this case he's suicidal.? A symptom of that is excessive drinking.

My favorite definition of a plot is "a conspiracy against the protagonist".? And that is certainly the case here.? The plot conspires so that the only way he can save the girl is to sacrifice his life.?

Robb Ross:

I agree that redemption is the theme in this movie.? The theme is planted in the 6th minute of the film when? the main character, John? Creasy, a troubled man, troubled about his past, asks "Do you think God will ever forgive us for what we've done?"

That said, loglines are about objective goals, not subjective needs.? Objective goals are a concrete problem a character intentionally struggles to solve.? Solutions to subjective needs are never intentionally sought.? In Act 1, the protagonist still has all his defense mechanisms up; he? cannot admit he has a subjective problem,? Or if he (reluctantly) admits he does, he's discounts its gravity and at best is only coping with the problem, not solving it.

Solutions to subjective issues are unintentionally arrived at in the course of working out the objective problem.? As events play out, the ultimate solution to Creasy's subjective problem, the answer to the thematic question raised in the 6th minute, is to sacrifice his life to save hers.? That is not a solution he would have accepted? in Act 1.? (Because he had not become emotionally bonded to the girl.)? Nor, I think,? immediately after the midpoint.? He knows his life is at risk, but he intends to save her if he can, wreak revenge no matter what.? And stay alive.

So in a logline the subjective need and the implied character arc is stated in terms of a character flaw.? In this case he's suicidal.? A symptom of that is excessive drinking.

My favorite definition of a plot is "a conspiracy against the protagonist".? And that is certainly the case here.? The plot conspires so that the only way he can save the girl is to sacrifice his life.?