A young woman inadvertantly becomes the reluctant host to a corporeol lifeform her father agreed to transport across the galaxy on their cargo ship and discovers that the alien is on the run from enemies of the intergalactic coalition who want to use it’s powers to over throw the government. She must use her new found abilities to save herself and everything and everyone she loves.

I would like to suggest that one solution to this logine is: think franchise.

It seems to me there is not only way too much detail in the logline, there is also too much incident, too much story to cram into one 2 hour movie. So why not break it out into several movies? In the first movie, establish central conceit, the story hook: a young woman is compelled to be a galactic mule/host for an alien species. Develop the plot, end the movie on a cliffhanger beat -- that's what George Lucas did when he conceived the Star Wars franchise.

fwiw.

I would like to suggest that one solution to this logine is: think franchise.

It seems to me there is not only way too much detail in the logline, there is also too much incident, too much story to cram into one 2 hour movie. So why not break it out into several movies? In the first movie, establish central conceit, the story hook: a young woman is compelled to be a galactic mule/host for an alien species. Develop the plot, end the movie on a cliffhanger beat -- that's what George Lucas did when he conceived the Star Wars franchise.

fwiw.

The plot can be simplified to the main character, her action and her goal. There is less a need for the wordy descriptions and abundant of detail in the logline. Also best to specify and inciting incident and goal with a direct cause and effect relationship that force the MC to take action.

My try:
After a young woman aboard a space ship inadvertently becomes the host of a life form which was a runaway slave. She must help him fight the evil galactic government to free his people in order to save her own life.

Hope this helps.