Abducted as a small child, a college athlete’s sadistic mother threatens his championship hopes when he sets out to find his long-lost dad.

carllord:

Why do you want the mother to be sadistic when making her the most nurturing, ,most supportive mother a kid could have... and then he discovers... would force greater emotional conflict and dilemmas upon the protagonist? What's your game plan for this plot?

carllord:

Why do you want the mother to be sadistic when making her the most nurturing, ,most supportive mother a kid could have... and then he discovers... would force greater emotional conflict and dilemmas upon the protagonist? What's your game plan for this plot?

Once again, I have to say it seems to me that the logline dodges the most obvious and more important issues raised by the kid's discovery. That the Big Discovery distracts from his game seems to me to be the VERY LEAST of his problems.

Once again, I have to say it seems to me that the logline dodges the most obvious and more important issues raised by the kid's discovery. That the Big Discovery distracts from his game seems to me to be the VERY LEAST of his problems.

Would'nt it be interesting to give us a glimpse of why this discovery jeopardize his dream of succeeding as an athlete? And still I think you could nail a better adjective for your MC. Or as dpg putted it, stick with the "young man"...

But it's way more straightforward than the first one. Good work!

Am I getting closer? Here is a another variation of my logline.

Disbelieving he is a product of rape; a devout athlete's championship hopes are jeopardized when he defies his sadistic mother to uncover the heartrending truth about his long-lost dad.