Categories: SciFi
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I think the "botched clinical trial" works very well for a destitute man, just trying to earn the $15 or whatever for participating so he can eat.? I agree with not excluding taste and smell.? Maybe mention "his five senses" instead of listing them.? I guess maybe the only thing that's missing from this logline is... where is the conflict/danger?? Sounds like something good happens out of bad, and we just watch him do great things with it.? I honestly don't know if it would help because you probably have enough of a hook, but I think it's worth considering what you might tweak if you wanted to add that.
I think a protagonist with synesthesia is a great premise. It has so many visual possibilities.? However, I'm kind of puzzled by the set up.
First of all I'm guessing that the purpose of the clinical trial is to treat the synesthesia.? Why?? What motivates it? Synesthesia is a benign condition.? Artists who have had the condition, like Kandinsky and Hockney, may have actually benefited from it.? And I am not aware of any literature? about non-artists suffering psychological torment or their work being hobbled.? What is the logical reason why anyone would try to "cure" him?? Or he would desperately want a cure by subjecting himself to a clinical trial?
To repeat, synesthesia is a great premise for a character attribute. But instead of focusing on and building on that condition, the current logline slaps on a piece of movie magic:? as a result of the botched trial, he acquires short term clairvoyance.? I suggest focusing on and building on the synesthesia.? Specifically, make the synesthesia itself clairvoyant -- but he hasn't realized it.? So the inciting incident might be when it starts to dawn on him that what for years he believed to be outbreaks of random "color coding" in his environment (words or numbers) are actually clairvoyant signals.? He has to decipher those signals case by case.
I suggest this would be a great coming of age story.? The eruptions of clairvoyant "color coding" could begin in adolescence or early adulthood.? IMHO, this strengthens the marketability of the concept because the series now targets the most coveted viewing demographic.
Finally, why not make the protagonist a woman?
fwiw
I think a protagonist with synesthesia is a great premise. It has so many visual possibilities.? However, I'm kind of puzzled by the set up.
First of all I'm guessing that the purpose of the clinical trial is to treat the synesthesia.? Why?? What motivates it? Synesthesia is a benign condition.? Artists who have had the condition, like Kandinsky and Hockney, may have actually benefited from it.? And I am not aware of any literature? about non-artists suffering psychological torment or their work being hobbled.? What is the logical reason why anyone would try to "cure" him?? Or he would desperately want a cure by subjecting himself to a clinical trial?
To repeat, synesthesia is a great premise for a character attribute. But instead of focusing on and building on that condition, the current logline slaps on a piece of movie magic:? as a result of the botched trial, he acquires short term clairvoyance.? I suggest focusing on and building on the synesthesia.? Specifically, make the synesthesia itself clairvoyant -- but he hasn't realized it.? So the inciting incident might be when it starts to dawn on him that what for years he believed to be outbreaks of random "color coding" in his environment (words or numbers) are actually clairvoyant signals.? He has to decipher those signals case by case.
I suggest this would be a great coming of age story.? The eruptions of clairvoyant "color coding" could begin in adolescence or early adulthood.? IMHO, this strengthens the marketability of the concept because the series now targets the most coveted viewing demographic.
Finally, why not make the protagonist a woman?
fwiw
