After being framed for the murder of two policemen, Peter, an inocent man with a criminal past, must fight to get his daughter back while running away from the revenge-driven police force and the angered population of the town that has been conditioned by the media to see him as a monster.

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9 reviews

Former member · Singularity · 114,965 pts

gmffr:

I'll have to think about it.? ?And I probably see the plot differently than you.

For example, I assume? that you? have dramatically justified his need to "steal" his daughter from his ex. That is, because she's a lousy mother.? Not just lousy, but abusive.

Whatever. The audience must believe that it is better for the daughter to be with him than with her.? Especially since it's his daughter, not his son.? Otherwise,? you don't have a protagonist an audience will root for. Which mean the script is DOA.

So I suggest building the backbone of the plot (and logline) around the goal of "stealing" his daughter as a rescue mission, to rescue her from an?bad mother.

But there are these nagging complications:? he's an ex-con, and is on the lam for murderers he didn't commit.

My? takeaway is that a plot about a ex-con trying to rescue his kid is more compelling, more marketable than an ex-con trying to outrun the police.

fwiw

dogger · Singularity · 87,055 pts

gmffr:

I'll have to think about it.? ?And I probably see the plot differently than you.

For example, I assume? that you? have dramatically justified his need to "steal" his daughter from his ex. That is, because she's a lousy mother.? Not just lousy, but abusive.

Whatever. The audience must believe that it is better for the daughter to be with him than with her.? Especially since it's his daughter, not his son.? Otherwise,? you don't have a protagonist an audience will root for. Which mean the script is DOA.

So I suggest building the backbone of the plot (and logline) around the goal of "stealing" his daughter as a rescue mission, to rescue her from an?bad mother.

But there are these nagging complications:? he's an ex-con, and is on the lam for murderers he didn't commit.

My? takeaway is that a plot about a ex-con trying to rescue his kid is more compelling, more marketable than an ex-con trying to outrun the police.

fwiw

gmffr · Logliner · 310 pts

Clearly it is still not phrased properly, but the idea is to have a film about a manhunt and the main character's goal is to escape somehow, so he decides to leave the country. However, he wants to take his daughter with him, but she is being watched over by his ex-wife and the police.

How would you phrase it ?