After discovering his travelling companion has a bag of cash a man starts a conversation hoping to blackmail him. When that fails he threatens violence that escalates into murder.

Categories:

More details Hide

8 reviews

CraigDGriffiths · Overlord · 12,600 pts

Believing a past unfair prison conviction ruined his life, a man blackmails his travelling companion that got away with murder as a youth. As their battle of wits unfold, his resolve is challenged and his violent nature is uncovered.

Robb Ross · Samurai · 1,895 pts

Next logline attempt, try for more of an A Story than the two talking. Or add details to help us imagine lengthy dialogues because even the responses make it seem like they only have one thing to talk about. It seems better if the car does not break down early on...a road trip (doesn't have to be far) with obstacles, opportunities, and variety along the way.

What are they waiting for? I thought they're talking and walking along the way? How can they be so far from help? If you don't do this yourself, consider setting it in today's world and figure out another solution to the help part. Even for yourself, are the extra challenges worth it? Would 1980 help or hurt the marketing of a movie that lacks a substantial reason for being set in 1980?

As for helping, I said that because of experience where most writers working on a logline for marketing- after the script is complete- are much less able to see room for improving the story. Plus, with all the loglines here and free time being limited...

Robb Ross · Samurai · 1,895 pts

What is the status of this idea, in development or completed script? Different comments for each and I personally like to give my time to those being developed.