SHORT: A stickler for justice and fairness rejected by his peers must prevent a lynching when a hostage situation turns into mayhem with the crowd surrounding the kidnapper.

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4 reviews

Former member · Singularity · 114,965 pts

Seems to me that it might be more interesting if the protagonist was the first hostage taken, or the one most abused by the hijacker.? Hence, he not only must? overcome the emotional response of the others, but overcome his own? emotions in order to rescue his hijacker/persecutor.? As currently written, what's his character arc?? He's already on the side of the angels.

What bruised and bleeding skin does he have in the game?

fwiw

dogger · Singularity · 87,055 pts

Seems to me that it might be more interesting if the protagonist was the first hostage taken, or the one most abused by the hijacker.? Hence, he not only must? overcome the emotional response of the others, but overcome his own? emotions in order to rescue his hijacker/persecutor.? As currently written, what's his character arc?? He's already on the side of the angels.

What bruised and bleeding skin does he have in the game?

fwiw

Richiev · Singularity · 58,825 pts

There is definitely a story here.

As for the logline, in this particular case, I think you should add what makes the lead character in a position to do something.

Is the lead character a police deputy (Perhaps a small town deputy) who has never drawn his gun.

Is the lead character a lawyer?

Is the lead character perhaps the person who owns the building the kidnapper is occupying, and so is in a position to stop the lynch mob simply because the lead has all the keys and knows the lay of the land?

You say rejected by peers... peers to what?