As a giant asteroid hurtles toward Earth, an embittered doomsday prepper must choose whether to open up his shelter to his runaway ex-wife and her crazy cult friends or risk spending eternity alone.
Categories: Thriller
13 reviews
>>>after giving shelter to his runaway wife
Oh, well,? that casts? loglining the plot in a whole new light.? It's need-to-know info.? The first version gives the impression that she's on the outside with the cultists trying to get it in. ("...whether to open up his shelter to his runaway ex-wife")
>>?not realizing she's a double agent
Setting up the expectation of a? midpoint reveal/reversal/plot twist.? Normally that is not included in a logline.? For the sake of brevity.? In this instance, adding that reversal/twist extends the logline length from 27 words to 34 -- which is tolerable.? And it may work as? a story hook --? an element that makes industry folk want to read the script to see how it plays out.
fwiw
>>>after giving shelter to his runaway wife
Oh, well,? that casts? loglining the plot in a whole new light.? It's need-to-know info.? The first version gives the impression that she's on the outside with the cultists trying to get it in. ("...whether to open up his shelter to his runaway ex-wife")
>>?not realizing she's a double agent
Setting up the expectation of a? midpoint reveal/reversal/plot twist.? Normally that is not included in a logline.? For the sake of brevity.? In this instance, adding that reversal/twist extends the logline length from 27 words to 34 -- which is tolerable.? And it may work as? a story hook --? an element that makes industry folk want to read the script to see how it plays out.
fwiw
Thanks to you all for your input. Lots of great points. That logline was a version done by a friend of one I had done earlier.
Here's my own version. It probably still needs work but I'd value your feedback on this one, too:
As a giant asteroid hurtles towards Earth, a?brokenhearted survivalist must defend his doomsday bunker from a vengeful cult leader after giving shelter to his runaway wife
...not realizing she's a double agent.