A lawsuit for his wife’s injury offers a homeless group leader a ticket out— until a member of his flock threatens to testify. Now he must resort to extreme measure to stop him.
Categories: Drama
20 reviews
I know say this a lot on this site,- but- you need a lead character and the lead character must want something. This is an interesting situation but to improve the logline you should focus on a lead character.
Here would be an example of what I mean:
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"After he's fired and loses his apartment, a department store Santa is determined to give his son a perfect Christmas, even though they are forced to move into an abandoned train station with a group of homeless families."
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Hope that helps, good luck with this!
torgodog:
The logline has certainly morphed ?from the ?original posting, version 1.0. ?Obviously, you want to "chew on the bone" of homelessness. ?Why? ? What is the central issue about homelessness that you want to explore?
torgodog:
The logline has certainly morphed ?from the ?original posting, version 1.0. ?Obviously, you want to "chew on the bone" of homelessness. ?Why? ? What is the central issue about homelessness that you want to explore?