Categories: Public
South Wales’ answer to Boyzone are making a comeback. Nightclub owner Steve Gold is bringing the boys back together for one last hurrah.
Try to define an obstacle for Steve as an outwardly force that will prevent him from reforming the band rather than a characteristic of his. This may help you shape a journey for him.
I like parts of the logline. I'm a little disappointed it's not a member of the band that's on the comeback trail. 'Band Manager' has less of an appeal than musician. Hard to feel empathy for his journey to if he already runs a nightclub. If Steve craves fame, running a band is not the best answer to his desire, he needs to be out front in the band. I agree with others when they say we need a reason it is not going to work. And 'moderately' successful is not the best set up for maximum conflict. Maybe they left the scene under a cloud and he wants to put things straight.
A heard about film recently made about a man who declared on his death bed that his old band unite. This is a great concept. I'm not sure yours has that level to peak interest.
It's probably relevant to mention that this is a 6 part comedy-drama that has already been completed. Steve's obsatcles are a lack of respect from everybody he comes into contact with as well as a blatant lack of any real talent in his band. Over the course of his journey he will indeed need to change as a person in order for the finale to feel like a triumph for both himself and the people he has taken advantage of over the years.
Until the oppurtunity arises to reform the band, his like had become stagnent, and his days involve running his outlandish nightclub as wall as stalking 90's "celebs" on facebook.
Steve craves fame. He "used" the band the first time around and he will attempt to "use" them again, which will backfire and cause Steve to take a good look at himself before both himself and the band get the triumphant finale they crave, leaving everybody better people at the end of it.
Egotistical 90's band manager Steve Gold attempts to reform the modestly successfull boyband Xcite.
Great opportunity for a character journey around the band manager. No need to mention him by name, nor the band - it doesn't help sell the concept.
The goal is clear: we want to see the band on stage in the movie's finale. But right now, we don't. MAKE us want to see the band. What is the big deal?
STAKES and OBSTACLES is what we need. Why is it a big deal to him (and us) and why is it going to be hard. You may even hint at how the manager will learn to become more selfless. Will there be a romance? What will he have to sacrifice to get what he wants?
Admittedly, you don't need to give all this away in the logline but right now it is light on. You'll need some of it to sell the concept.
I tend to agree with the other commentators - what is his over-riding reason (ie goal) in reforming the band and what are the barriers ? Is one of them now a druggie? Is one a transexual? or whatever the other (probably more appropriate) choices might be. The logline beggars the word because at the end of it ....
