In a dystopian world, a geeky geneticist invents a super-seed to avert global starvation and finds himself pursued by dark corporate profiteers.

What is the cause of the Dystopia? Maybe the geneticist has a cure to the dystopia (e.g. nuclear war - a cure for radiation poisoning, or the like). The comments above about who's interested in this breakthrough?could be broader, governments ?or militias or newborn "states" would be more engaged and likely to chase this breakthrough. It should be as important and urgent as water in the desert.

see 12 monkeys, soylent green and district 9 as examples of causal dystopia.

cheers,
Marc

I also suggest that "pursued by dark corporate profiteers" needs to be clarified, perhaps refocused. What does that mean, that he's being "pursued"? Are they trying to steal the technology, wrest control of the patents? Are they trying to kill him?

And as suggested, "dark corporate profiteers" is rather vague and generic. The logline (and story) would benefit by stipulating a particular corporate bad-guy who is his arch-nemesis -- put a human face on the antagonist as well as on the victims.

I also suggest that "pursued by dark corporate profiteers" needs to be clarified, perhaps refocused. What does that mean, that he's being "pursued"? Are they trying to steal the technology, wrest control of the patents? Are they trying to kill him?

And as suggested, "dark corporate profiteers" is rather vague and generic. The logline (and story) would benefit by stipulating a particular corporate bad-guy who is his arch-nemesis -- put a human face on the antagonist as well as on the victims.

What about changing the generic "dark corporate profiteers" to a single antagonist or cabal?

This is my goal exactly: To focus attention on the situation, to raise awareness, and to do it via the struggling of a few specific characters.

These are ALL good comments (and I agree). Thanks for the enlightened feedback!